Dreaming

So we are starting to look for land. Somewhere preferably between Mapleton and Payson. Hopefully as “in the middle of nowhere” as we can get. We have a 5-year plan now. Kind of…. Buy land and build in 5 years J (Does that count as a plan?) We started talking about house layouts and decided that we better start deciding now because we cannot agree on ANYTHING. I keep having to remind Shane that he is not that one that will be cooking/laundering/cleaning/organizing/etc…. so I should get more say in the design. He doesn’t like hearing that though.

I have become addicted to Pinterest (look it up!!) and it is helping me find very efficient, space saving design ideas. Also little crafty projects that I feel like even I can do! I’ve already done a couple of things and I really like it. I just wish I had more time and talent to devote. More money would help too. But there are so many ways to reuse your crappy old stuff. I am glad now that I saved my baby food jars! I will say though – I might need some keen design eyes when it comes time to {hopefully} design a new house…. Ladies…… --- because I surely do NOT have that keen eye.

Chloe starts preschool on Thursday. I’m taking a half-day so I can be with her on her first day. She is so excited about it. She keeps talking about going to school and her teacher and everything. I know she will do well. I can’t wait to get her little creations and all those other things they will make.

I FINALLY made a dent --- Shane agreed that if I could find enough people to watch kids for, that I could do that as an income, rather than have a job. I would have to be able to find like 4 or 5 kids though BEFORE I could make any changes. I guess I need to start being more active in my Relief Society, huh?? But that would be so nice. I could be a present figure in my kids’ lives!! I wouldn’t have to pay someone else $500/month to watch them! I could maybe have a clean and organized house!! I have so many dreams….

Anyway, those are just the happenings/dreams for the week.

UUGGGG!

So Haley informed us tonight she now has a boyfriend. We knew she was spending time with this guy, but he asked her to be exclusive with him. He is 24, works where Shane does, has his realtor's license, owns a house in Provo. This is soooo not cool! I do have two implants/crowns holding over her head. She knows if she gets married she has to pay for them. That's all I have to say for now because I am speechless!

Life!

I truly love reading all your entries, the good, the bad, the complaints, the worries, the fun stories, etc. It makes me feel like I am actually part of your lives. I had a nice quick trip to Mom and Dad's place last week. It has been a LONG time since I was able to just visit with them. It seems like every visit I've had with them there has been a lot going on behind the scenes so I haven't really "visited" with them. I needed that time. We all need to take that time with them - do it! Abbie and Sophie had a blast as well. I loved that little bit of time with the two of them. They were really good.

Haley has finished semester #1. She has quickly learned she has to really apply herself with her studying. I know it has been a big transistion for her, and us. She has really stepped up to the plate and been really responsible. I can't believe I am that old! UGGHH!

Joanie, I am leaving work at 6:15 am and I take lunch between midnight and 1am. I usally check my phone at lunch so feel free to text! I am so sorry you didn't get the jobs. Have faith. You are such a good example to me with your faith. I bet someday you'll look back at this time and see miracles you don't even realize are taking place. Dad told me that has happened to him. I can say that has happened to me at times as well.

Nellie, I hope your drive back gets less "eventful" as the time passes. I hope you find a place to live quickly. What an adventure you've had. Kyle and I have decided we are going to move south after he retires, just for a change-up! I can go anyplace and get a job. He will look for work someplace far away from Idaho when he retires. It's never too late for an adventure right?

Bonnie, Thanks for your help with Haley while she was in transition. I am so grateful she can call on you and you are so willing to go to her aid! She needs that support so you rock! I was reading your last entry and I thought about when my kids were little like Chloe and Adam. I really had no social life as well. I had one friend I went to lunch with once a week and I took Haley and Kylee. We went to Wendy's and ate from the dollar menu. Haley and Kylee would share a 5 piece chicken nugget and fries and I would visit with my one friend. It was a good and hard time. I Loved being with my babies, but sometimes I felt lonely for a friend. Now I don't have time to even think about a social life. In fact, my favorite outings are with Kyle or my kids. You should never feel bad about saying no to a night out to be with your kids. This time with them will pass way to fast so absorb every minute you can!

Now that I've bored you all to tears, we are planning on coming down over Conference weekend. I hope I get to see all of you if only for a little while. We are planning on going to one of the sessions, hopefully on Sunday.

In the meantime -- Keep posting!

bLaH....

Well, things are going well. Not bad anyway - that means 'well', yes? 

I'm STILL working. Shane is STILL working TWO jobs, 5 days (if not 6) a week. The kids are STILL going to daycare in Spanish Fork. That is going better at least. And, I think I figured out why Chloe had/has a hard time going. The babysitter actually disciplines her! I love it. Everyone else who has watched her has been too nice (sorry guys....). She HAS to have people tell her "no" and punish her one way or another. She really likes Chloe and is so nice with Adam. It's comforting to know that they are at least being treated well if I can't be the one watching them.

I will say, I think Shane is finally seeing that when we have more kids, I can't work. So, we may be waiting a little bit before #3 to make sure we're at a place where that's possible. Other things might have to take a back seat, but that's ok. 

I don't know how moms can have social lives. Maybe it's just because I am never with my kids, but I do everything I can to avoid leaving the house when I can be with them. The couple of times I have been invited out, it is so hard for me to say "yes"! *sigh* Oh well. But - just so you know, anytime I ever seem hesitant to hang out, it is because I only get to BE with my kids for about 2-3 hours a day and would really rather be playing with them than with anyone else :)

Joan, I'm sorry you can't find a job. There are too many people out there - and it's always the person you're pitted against that has some ridiculous, unfair advantage. It is ruthless. I wish I knew of some awesome hook up, but I don't... unless you want to come be tech support with a bunch of smelly (seriously) boys?!

Janell, very excited you are coming back. Chloe has been talking about you and Bridgette lately. It's funny. It really just started coming out of nowhere!! Sad that you want to be in SL County though :(  I have decided that city life is not for me! I can't wait for the day that we can move to some po-dunk little town and not have to worry about traffic or .... people for that matter (it's no secret that I'm not a "people person"!) 

Hopefully, if you are up there, it won't keep you from coming down often. 

Anne, I want to come visit again! You're always so busy with life though... But Chloe does love visiting you and your family!

Sorry everyone. I never have that much to say. My woes and wishes are pretty minuscule compared to everything else going on the world.... 

cry me a river.....

you guys love my pictures I post every time... 
don't ya.  ;)


so.
I didn't get either of the jobs.
found out both today.


needless to say.. w/ out going into grand detail
I was very very sad, disappointed... etc............


Mike came right home after work
checked on me... then sat his sick toosh on the couch for a moment - patiently waiting for me to mentally come around - so we could chat about the downpour of "no - we don't want you" 's.
then dragged me off for a car ride + a chat about my options - all the while letting me vent as he empathized w/ me the joys of being shut down again and again... not feeling wanted.
He had the clear mind, while mine was full of messy puddles 


After a sweet drive, a kind chat, and some holding back of tears
I came home and talked w/ Kaylene about staying longer
While Mike registered me for UVU - 


I will continue @ the elementary school
then hopefully will beable to begin classes this fall @ UVU
or at least take one class this semester 


It's 1:35 in the morning and I can't sleep
Annie is most likely on her way home from work.  
I could call you on your phone Annie!!!  
so.........

Maybe this is the push I needed to get back into school
to study....
?????????????????????????
thinking Graphic Design.
?????????????????????????


I shall carry on.
{maybe w/ the help of My Mike gently shoving me from behind.}



Nellie... 
I am so excited you are coming back here.
I wish you were moving into the home close to me
as does Sydney Leigh, I am sure
... you don't have to do yard work.
Does that help?  ;)
when will you be HERE?
where will you stay when you get back here?
hope you drive safely.
girls night out!!!!!!
asap!!!! 
right BONNIE & ANNIE (if you are able that is)


love you guys.
so glad I have 3 sisters. 
truly.  I am.

Summer's Over

I can't believe summer's basically over! I can tell Dan is really ready to be done. His team has dwindled down to three guys. This has been the toughest summer, as far as problems w/ team members, for him. 


We're leaving early next week to go back to Utah, although I'm still not sure where we're going to live. 
Dan and I have completely different opinions on living situations. He likes apartments, not having to do yardwork, and hates anything that resembles "vintage." I, on the other hand, am done with apartments (unless he decides to move us to a big city.) I crave my own space, even if it's a shared yard! 


There are definitely things I'll miss about Dallas, such as;


1. The Texas "U-Turns" which is the ability to make a left hand turn off an interstate off-ramp at any time, it's hard to explain, but it's awesome.
2. The zoo- I'm sad we're not going to be here in cooler weather to go back to the Fort Worth Zoo, it was awesome.
3. The food.
4. The people- Utahns are nice enough, but Texans are just so sweet to little toddlers and they're so excited to see babies, whereas Utahns seem to cast me this look of "you better keep your kid quiet." Texans are just nice and southern.
5. Shopping- not that I've really been able to shop a lot, so maybe it's a good thing we're leaving, but they have the best malls & even really good thrift shops here.
6. Our Ward- they're really nice, even the older ladies in our ward are so silly & friendly and like to goof off.
7. My gym's daycare. They're so nice to Bridgette, and she really likes the ladies there. Also, there's only about 5 kids in there at a time, whereas gyms in Utah have like 30.


Of course there are reasons I'm excited to go back to Utah, like;
1. You guys : )
2. The Fall! They actually have seasons in Utah, and it's beautiful in the fall
3. The water- Texas water is DISGUSTING! I don't like drinking all bottle water b/c I'm afraid of chemicals that plastic can leach, but that's all I could stomach all summer. They water here tastes/ smells like wet dog meets pond water. YUCK!
4. Dan has conceded that Salt Lake County just might be better than Utah county, it only took me 5 years to convince him. (GO UTES) Although I'm sad about the cute American Fork house we're passing up.
5. Shopping. Texas has cool stores that Utah doesn't but things here are pricier. Utah retailers understand that most of their shoppers priorities aren't $50 cotton t-shirts. Also, in Texas, cheapest place I found to color my hair was $100. That includes Mall Salons. It's crazy, some places here are like $300 +. I'm sure some can afford that, but even if I could I don't think I'd pay it.




So, as you can see, it's a bittersweet move for me. I'm just ready to get it over with. I dread packing, but at least it's mainly clothes and toys. 


We'll be driving through Colorado to visit Dan's family on our way back. It'll be nice to see them & celebrate Dan & Bridgette's birthdays with them. 


I can't believe Bridgette is going to be 2! What a big girl. We're going to start potty training when we get settled into our new place. She tells me every time she has to poop, and updates me when she's done. I think she's ready.


Well, I think this post has covered enough topics. I'll let ya'll know if we find a place to live, and if not, what underpass we'll be sleeping under!

I have had a couple of great job interviews as of late

today I had a follow up one - 

they are making a decision between me and another lady.

I told Mike,

I hope I don't, 

however I always loose out on these kinds of "decisions"

even my own fiance wouldn't pick me...

when we used to play volleyball in their back yard in college

I was always that last one standing against the wall -- by myself.  Listening to the unfortunate team leader moaning under his breath as they said, "Joan" with a sigh.... then I would just shrug my shoulders... giggle, then sashay over to which ever team was unlucky enough to get that last person that no one really wanted... me.  

{ok... off the subject, but you know how there are some words that you know are supposed to be spelled in a difficult manner... because it would be too easy to spell it how it looks?  I just did that w/ "sashay"  It sounds french... so I was trying to spell it very... french like, when in fact - it is spelled how it sounds.  I'm a genius.  p.s. - my job does not require spelling accurately}

so for now. 

It's another wait and see process.

anxiety

here I am.  feed off me.

p.s.
this is becoming "the life of Joan" blog.
seriously.
Ok.  so in a week, I won't be posting as much.
but... it's fun when I am posted to loved ones rather than just posting so I can have the memory or remember something I loved...
so much funner posting to you guys.
and not caring what's out there.
love you ladies.
post.  please.  ;)