I love glitter.
Sydney Leigh and her cute friend were over making shirts for a Basketball game during school for charity?  I kept begging her to add glitter.  Her friend doesn't know me, and is shy, so she didn't comment - but Sydney kept laughing and then telling me... MOM!  KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE GLITTER!!!!  YOU AND GLITTER!!!!


Tomorrow I have my first finals.
I know.
Only two.
wah wah wah.
cry you a river...
blah blah blah.


I am having a very hard time concentrating.
I can't focus.
I pray I will do well.
we shall see.


Do you ever go through phases where your spirituality is at a complete low?
where you feel lost in yourself.
where you go to church hoping to feel uplifted, only to leave feeling frustration because you feel insecure in yourself anyways, and you feel alone in yourself?  does this make sense.....
I try to be a good mom, going to church... etc.  etc.
I feel an inner tug-of-war between myself and trying to make everyone happy, however sometimes that leaves me feeling alone and frustrated... spiritually.
am I making any sense?


So, maybe it's just the fact that school has taken over all my time and my thought process.
Or, maybe it's a phase I am going through.
Or maybe.. maybe I'm exhausted.
who knows.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>..
so miss Sydney has to go to a choir thing tomorrow during the day.
They are singing at University Mall.
she asked to wear my SUPER DUPER high heels.
(excuse me while I laugh so hard it hurts)


Mike may have broken one of his toes tonight.
while wrestling with my pudge.
ouch!  his poor toe is very purple and swollen.
we use frozen peas as ice packs now because my Pudge decided to take a knife to my really very nice expensive ice pack that I use for my back... to see what the insides look like.
brown oozing clay.
now we know.


David decided to rake leaves today.. on Sunday.
to kiss up for spilling a coke in the fridge and leaving it
btw.... coke was on every shelf, in every drawer, and coating all 3 sides of the fridge.
(he claims he didn't think it spilled that much.)


anywho.
back to math.
prayers my way?


love you girls!

Stupid Blogger.

Am I retarded, or is there some tricky way to leave a comment on posts that I'm not bright enough to figure out?

I was going to say to Fats that I don't think Joan's post was about you being selfish and we don't want you to keep what stresses you out to yourself. I think she was just trying to say that as a sibling sometimes we're asked to do service that we may be hesitant to do (b/c of time restriction, inconvenience, cost or whatever) but you never know when you may need something and that's what we're here for, to try and help the best we can. I'm sure Joan LOVED having an extra child for 8 months back in '04, but I appreciate it more that she'll ever know. You never know when you're the answer to someone's prayers!

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. We were going to have dinner @ our house with some friends, but her parent's flew in at the last minute, so we decided to do our own thing. We saw the new "Muppets" movie. It was cute and nostalgic. Bridgette kept saying "where's Cookie Monster?" I totally understand, I kept waiting for Elmo to pop in. Then we just went to dinner later in the afternoon. It was good, nothing fancy, but nice that we could spend it together (and no dishes!!)

It was kind of sad not to be going to Mom & Dad's though. It still hasn't sunk in that we're so far from everyone, and that we're permanently. Our ward is nice, and I try to go to all the activities, but I still haven't really made any friends or anything, so I get kind of lonely.

I try to go to the gym 4 days a week, but lately Bridgette really gets pissed when I bring her to the daycare. She covers her eyes the entire time she's in there! I asked her today why she doesn't like daycare, and she said "because get away from me." But she wasn't telling me to get away, it was like she was saying someone said that to her. That made me really sad to think that kids that small say things like that, especially b/c I know they've probably heard their parents say it. Hopefully she will get over it soon... And hopefully kids are nicer than that normally.

On a lighter note, I can't believe it's almost Christmas! We were going to Colorado, but decided to save the money & driving time, and just stay here. We bought a real Christmas tree last weekend, I haven't had a real one in such a long time! It smells so good, and it's so much prettier than the crap fake one we've used since we got married. I also put a 3ft tree up in Bridgy's room in hopes that she'd be so into that one, she'd leave the big tree alone. We've also been super excited about buying pressies for her. Dan's going nuts; he bought like 4 board games, an xbox game and Barbie doll for her, and he's still going strong. I keep telling him, "look, she doesn't care, just spend all your money on me."  : )

Well, I think this post is going on...and on... I could go on all day about nonsense. I really need to just do better about writing in a journal.

I hope you're all doing ok & that Haley didn't get engaged (ANNE, did she?) b/c I think she's still got some fun single things she needs to do.

BYE! Love you gals!

I should be doing math.... history ....
but instead I am learning how to dance the DOUGIE and the SPONGE BOB.
I'm awesome!
(@ looking like a dancing monkey. haha)

Bons... I totally understand.
I think everyone lives and learns though.
sometimes family members take advantage - when they don't know they are taking advantage.
I don't think he is trying to take advantage - I think they are struggling.
I understand you wanting vacation time with family.
I see my family on the weekends... that's about the only quality time we have.
I think that all of us have - at one point or another - taken advantage of other family member's time & talents & financial ability w/o meaning to "take advantage".  It's a learning experience.
I am not trying to chastise, I'm just trying to say that we can all empathize w/ Danny's situation.  I think he is trying to make the best of their situation.  He has a darling wife & 3 little one's he is trying to provide for.  I think maybe he is just swimming to stay above water, like we have all done.
I can empathize w/ you also though.....  I understand the "family time".
I think we grew up w/ dad who would have dropped anything to help anyone while on vacation or even when on his "death bed"....  and so maybe we assume sometimes that everyone in our family would push vacation aside to help a family member.
I understand it is a lot of time and $, but sometimes you have to eat up $ to help family.
(I'm not saying at all that you should rush over and do his whole house for free.....  just saying that have a little sympathy for Danny. he could use it right now, just like 90% of us could.)
Just use this as a lesson.... if you are feeling like you are being taken advantage of, it's a good lesson to learn.  I have felt that way, and I know I have taken undo advantage of others before - and I regret it.

Have fun at moms!
love her cooking!!!!
love being w/ her and dad!
their home has a lovely feeling that I miss.....

Charity??

So I got a text the other night from Daniel asking if Shane would help him (do it for him) put carpet in their new house while we're there for Thanksgiving. Now, I'm all for helping family, but this is a vacation that we never get. And it would be so hard to take all of Shane's tools down (they take up the whole back seat of his truck).

Not to mention, I have said many times how many hours Shane works and that is the last thing he wants to do on a vacation. Well, when I nicely said that Shane really wanted to have this be a vacation and Daniel put me on quite the guilt trip. Then I asked him how big the space is --- it's the entire house: 5 rooms and 2 closets. When Shane figured out the size, it would take him literally, about 12-15 hours to do. That's a whole full day of our vacation.

When I said that, his response was that he didn't want to pay someone to come do it. This job would be about $500 dollars for Shane to do just as a regular job. And I'M NOT SAYING WE'RE NOT WILLING TO HELP FAMILY, but that is a lot of time and work to just do [on your vacation] to be nice.

Then Danny said "well can he give me some pointers on how to do it then? It can't be too hard to lay carpet, I've just never done it before". Is it just me, or is that kind of a mean thing to say - like if Shane can do it, then he definitely can.

Sorry - I just have to vent. I don't want to complain to Mom because I know she doesn't love hearing the kids complain about each other, but am I totally over reacting? We never mind helping family, but if someone was coming for a vacation, with no prior knowledge of this situation, would you ask them to spend one FULL day helping you out?

Then, to top if off - a comment was made on Facebook by Andrea about how hard Danny's been working on their new house - getting only 4 hours of sleep - blah blah blah.... I'm so bothered by this. I know it shouldn't bug me and obviously I will not say a thing to anyone outside of this blog - you all know how much I LOVE confrontation. And I know that Daniel is still going to guilt trip us down there and I'm worried its going to affect the whole trip.

I'm not saying that we don't like to help family, but usually it's something that is planned - we've done the carpet for other family members, but the trips were always for that specific purpose and we knew ahead of time what we were getting in to - totally different situation (so Anne, don't start thinking that I'm referring to you :P)

Anyway, I'm glad I remembered about this site. I'm sorry if my ranting offends any of you, but I am really protective of the little time that Shane actually gets to rest and enjoy himself. I feel so bad that this happened, but with the time and space it takes just to even bring his tools, we would need to make this a trip JUST for the carpet. GAH!! I don't like getting so worked up about it. And now I'm so worried about Thanksgiving just being awkward. Advice? Please? Sympathy even....??

too busy!!

I really should not be doing this because Shane is about to wake up and I still don't have his lunch made or clothes but away or floor swept or diaper bag packed for tomorrow... But... I guess I need to check in with the world.

We have been beyond busy - what else is new? Work, work, work, house upkeep, HALLOWEEN! Thank goodness that is over. Chloe loved it. She was a little fairy princess.

Anyway, the land thing is on hold. We didn't realize that you had to have such a huge down payment. We do not have a dime to spare for something like that. We were both really disappointed but we can't come up with $30,000+ anytime soon!!

I'm still having a hard time finding time to "work out". And sorry everyone - I'm not the kind of person who can do videos or work out at home. That's why I am IN this predicament! I don't have the will power. Going to the gym and being ashamed and embarrassed by getting off the treadmill too soon or not running enough - that's the only thing that works at this point in time. It's hard. Very hard. THAT is our struggle right now.

We are looking at SUV's right now. We actually did buy a lemon a couple weeks ago. But the dealer was so amazing that they paid off the load we had taken out and gave our car back. So that was a learning experience. There's one that we're going to look at tomorrow. We shall see --- hoping to have something by Thanksgiving to drive down to Mom's. Gotta have something comfy for all of us (that includes our dogs!!)

I just a new position at work. Well, I won't start it for a few weeks, but it will be nice. No more customer service and a nice little pay raise :)

Anyway, life is hectic - don't get to see my kids enough - never see my husband - getting fat - behind on chores - work work work. Same old, same old...

Nellie.
You always make me laugh.


I forgot about the chicken!  I don't blame you!  


We have been so busy.  Miss Sydney has done a pretty good job staying drama free @ the Jr. High, however she has been having some "sad" days...  She thought she finally had found a friend close by that she could consider calling a great friend... but to her dismay, this friend doesn't treat miss Sydney like she should treat a friend.  So - the sad days of Jr High are kicking in.  On the bright side, I hear a lot about boys, who she refuses to "crush on" ...  but "they're so hot!".    And... she was asked by one to dance @ the Halloween dance!!!! SERIOUS!  I mean, isn't that like just totally amazing!  ....  :)
I love my girl.


I have been doing ok.
I am excited for Thanksgiving break.
I am thinking of going into Special Education.  At the moment UVU does not have this program, which is crazy because they are becoming "known" for their elementary education school...  ????  We shall see.


This is short.  However, I really need to go and study.  or sleep.  both.  
I feel as if every day -- another mental breakdown is on the horizon.
So sleep is probably something I should consider doing more of, right?


Love my sisters!

Long time, no post

I feel bad for not posting anything in so long! I really haven't been doing anything of note, just moving, sleeping & playing with Bridgette.

Our move was fairly uneventful. We stayed & Dan's parents on the way. While there his Dad had a bbq (b/c Bridgette LOVES Papa Joe's hot dogs.) To preface this, before I left I went to lunch w/ Joan & got a chicken sandwich & it looked pink inside, but I realized it was just a vein in the chicken. Still gross, but it was cooked.

Well, he made hot dogs & chicken. I took some chicken and cut a small corner off of it & it looked slightly pink & it was kind of cold. I just thought to myself "Quit being paranoid!!" Well, I managed to get it down. Then I cut right through the middle of the chicken & it was totally RAW! I seriously almost vomited on the table. I was sitting right next to Joe & he gave me this look of, "why did you take a whole chicken breast and not even touch it?" Well I actually ran upstairs & threw up (my stomach was a bit weak before dinner anyways.) Later that night I told Dan's brother about the chicken & he said "Yeah, that happens all the time. He always undercooks meat and gets mad at me when I won't eat it!" So Joe probably thinks I'm a huge brat now.

I know that was a dumb story, but he didn't know I'm pregnant & I was super paranoid about getting listeria or e coli or something.

Other than eating raw chicken we're good though. We went through a rough patch with Bridgette, but after she sprouted her 4 molars in a week she's been a sweetie pie. She carries around the pictures of "her baby" (the ultrasound) and says it's a girl. We'll see.

I found a good Dr. here, I was actually trying to get into another Dr in the practice, but he was booked solid. The one I got is only 2 years out of his obgyn residency, and he's quite young, but I like him. He's very thorough and talks to me as if I were talking to Anne or a friend who's in the medical field. I actually had a UTI & he found strep B in my urine so I have to have an IV when I have the baby. I was also nervous that I became "sensitized" after my miscarriage (I'm Rh negative) but he had already run all the tests & said everything looked great (preemptively) which my old doctor wasn't usually on the ball like that.  Hopefully I'll continue to like him & hopefully everything will be smooth sailing. I'm only 11 weeks, so I have a ways to go. He brought up the genetic testing, and I keep going back and forth in my mind b/c it's only 60-80% accurate.  Any advice?

Sorry this post is getting so long-winded. I feel like I haven't talked to another girl about any of this well, because I haven't! Hopefully I'll make some friends soon. It does get a bit lonely, but luckily I'm really tired all the time so I just feel like napping, so I am not awake being bored, just dreaming about it!

It sounds like all of you are super busy, which is good. It's good to be busy, right? Joanie, I'm sure you'll make up for your mid-term grade. I'm positive you'll make a better grade in math than I made!

Bonnie, have you had any luck in the land hunt? Have you talked to Dan's real estate guy? Annie, you better make sure Haley dates her boyfriend for at least another semester before they talk of marriage (tell her I'll beat her kidney infected butt if she doesn't!!!)

Well, I'll shut up now. Write when you have time! Love & Miss you all!!!!

ladies

long time.....
etc.....


so.  
life.


life has been incredibly busy.  
I am so sad that you are gone Nellie.


halloween is upon us.
I WAS going to be the above.
however.  with time NOT on my side...  
I have decided to be a "cat fight"
a cat.... 
with a torn skirt, freaked out hair, etc.....


or I could still do the above.


I found amazing fabric @ Joanne's - torn black on top
gray underneath.


we shall see.


besides thinking of Halloween....
school is going fine. 
I screwed up big time on a midterm for math.
I was really upset with myself.


I think I did ok on my chapter test though.


I had to type a paper for History....
let me pause for a moment while I laugh my heart out
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
the last time I typed a paper I used a typewriter.
and format was:


there was no format.  just have margins, a title, a bibliography, and a cover page.
that's it.


she was very kind though.
she just took off 2 points.
yay!


this week is fall break.  
I am very VERY excited for the break.
we will:
put up a shelf w/ a rod on it for Sydney's clothes in her room
borrow Kaylene's darling twin beds that she wants to keep, but not store, so she offered them to us
I will sew my costume
come up w/ something for syd and dave, since this is the only time I can do so
I will do homework
maybe attempt some halloween decor.
(yup.  I am behind on that this year.)
and 
we have dentist appointments for the kids.
and maybe... we might get the flu shot.
(have I mentioned syd and pudge's deathly fear of needles?)


that is all folks. 
hope you are all well!
I love my sisters!
Love, 
Joanie Bologna

Dreaming

So we are starting to look for land. Somewhere preferably between Mapleton and Payson. Hopefully as “in the middle of nowhere” as we can get. We have a 5-year plan now. Kind of…. Buy land and build in 5 years J (Does that count as a plan?) We started talking about house layouts and decided that we better start deciding now because we cannot agree on ANYTHING. I keep having to remind Shane that he is not that one that will be cooking/laundering/cleaning/organizing/etc…. so I should get more say in the design. He doesn’t like hearing that though.

I have become addicted to Pinterest (look it up!!) and it is helping me find very efficient, space saving design ideas. Also little crafty projects that I feel like even I can do! I’ve already done a couple of things and I really like it. I just wish I had more time and talent to devote. More money would help too. But there are so many ways to reuse your crappy old stuff. I am glad now that I saved my baby food jars! I will say though – I might need some keen design eyes when it comes time to {hopefully} design a new house…. Ladies…… --- because I surely do NOT have that keen eye.

Chloe starts preschool on Thursday. I’m taking a half-day so I can be with her on her first day. She is so excited about it. She keeps talking about going to school and her teacher and everything. I know she will do well. I can’t wait to get her little creations and all those other things they will make.

I FINALLY made a dent --- Shane agreed that if I could find enough people to watch kids for, that I could do that as an income, rather than have a job. I would have to be able to find like 4 or 5 kids though BEFORE I could make any changes. I guess I need to start being more active in my Relief Society, huh?? But that would be so nice. I could be a present figure in my kids’ lives!! I wouldn’t have to pay someone else $500/month to watch them! I could maybe have a clean and organized house!! I have so many dreams….

Anyway, those are just the happenings/dreams for the week.

UUGGGG!

So Haley informed us tonight she now has a boyfriend. We knew she was spending time with this guy, but he asked her to be exclusive with him. He is 24, works where Shane does, has his realtor's license, owns a house in Provo. This is soooo not cool! I do have two implants/crowns holding over her head. She knows if she gets married she has to pay for them. That's all I have to say for now because I am speechless!

Life!

I truly love reading all your entries, the good, the bad, the complaints, the worries, the fun stories, etc. It makes me feel like I am actually part of your lives. I had a nice quick trip to Mom and Dad's place last week. It has been a LONG time since I was able to just visit with them. It seems like every visit I've had with them there has been a lot going on behind the scenes so I haven't really "visited" with them. I needed that time. We all need to take that time with them - do it! Abbie and Sophie had a blast as well. I loved that little bit of time with the two of them. They were really good.

Haley has finished semester #1. She has quickly learned she has to really apply herself with her studying. I know it has been a big transistion for her, and us. She has really stepped up to the plate and been really responsible. I can't believe I am that old! UGGHH!

Joanie, I am leaving work at 6:15 am and I take lunch between midnight and 1am. I usally check my phone at lunch so feel free to text! I am so sorry you didn't get the jobs. Have faith. You are such a good example to me with your faith. I bet someday you'll look back at this time and see miracles you don't even realize are taking place. Dad told me that has happened to him. I can say that has happened to me at times as well.

Nellie, I hope your drive back gets less "eventful" as the time passes. I hope you find a place to live quickly. What an adventure you've had. Kyle and I have decided we are going to move south after he retires, just for a change-up! I can go anyplace and get a job. He will look for work someplace far away from Idaho when he retires. It's never too late for an adventure right?

Bonnie, Thanks for your help with Haley while she was in transition. I am so grateful she can call on you and you are so willing to go to her aid! She needs that support so you rock! I was reading your last entry and I thought about when my kids were little like Chloe and Adam. I really had no social life as well. I had one friend I went to lunch with once a week and I took Haley and Kylee. We went to Wendy's and ate from the dollar menu. Haley and Kylee would share a 5 piece chicken nugget and fries and I would visit with my one friend. It was a good and hard time. I Loved being with my babies, but sometimes I felt lonely for a friend. Now I don't have time to even think about a social life. In fact, my favorite outings are with Kyle or my kids. You should never feel bad about saying no to a night out to be with your kids. This time with them will pass way to fast so absorb every minute you can!

Now that I've bored you all to tears, we are planning on coming down over Conference weekend. I hope I get to see all of you if only for a little while. We are planning on going to one of the sessions, hopefully on Sunday.

In the meantime -- Keep posting!

bLaH....

Well, things are going well. Not bad anyway - that means 'well', yes? 

I'm STILL working. Shane is STILL working TWO jobs, 5 days (if not 6) a week. The kids are STILL going to daycare in Spanish Fork. That is going better at least. And, I think I figured out why Chloe had/has a hard time going. The babysitter actually disciplines her! I love it. Everyone else who has watched her has been too nice (sorry guys....). She HAS to have people tell her "no" and punish her one way or another. She really likes Chloe and is so nice with Adam. It's comforting to know that they are at least being treated well if I can't be the one watching them.

I will say, I think Shane is finally seeing that when we have more kids, I can't work. So, we may be waiting a little bit before #3 to make sure we're at a place where that's possible. Other things might have to take a back seat, but that's ok. 

I don't know how moms can have social lives. Maybe it's just because I am never with my kids, but I do everything I can to avoid leaving the house when I can be with them. The couple of times I have been invited out, it is so hard for me to say "yes"! *sigh* Oh well. But - just so you know, anytime I ever seem hesitant to hang out, it is because I only get to BE with my kids for about 2-3 hours a day and would really rather be playing with them than with anyone else :)

Joan, I'm sorry you can't find a job. There are too many people out there - and it's always the person you're pitted against that has some ridiculous, unfair advantage. It is ruthless. I wish I knew of some awesome hook up, but I don't... unless you want to come be tech support with a bunch of smelly (seriously) boys?!

Janell, very excited you are coming back. Chloe has been talking about you and Bridgette lately. It's funny. It really just started coming out of nowhere!! Sad that you want to be in SL County though :(  I have decided that city life is not for me! I can't wait for the day that we can move to some po-dunk little town and not have to worry about traffic or .... people for that matter (it's no secret that I'm not a "people person"!) 

Hopefully, if you are up there, it won't keep you from coming down often. 

Anne, I want to come visit again! You're always so busy with life though... But Chloe does love visiting you and your family!

Sorry everyone. I never have that much to say. My woes and wishes are pretty minuscule compared to everything else going on the world.... 

cry me a river.....

you guys love my pictures I post every time... 
don't ya.  ;)


so.
I didn't get either of the jobs.
found out both today.


needless to say.. w/ out going into grand detail
I was very very sad, disappointed... etc............


Mike came right home after work
checked on me... then sat his sick toosh on the couch for a moment - patiently waiting for me to mentally come around - so we could chat about the downpour of "no - we don't want you" 's.
then dragged me off for a car ride + a chat about my options - all the while letting me vent as he empathized w/ me the joys of being shut down again and again... not feeling wanted.
He had the clear mind, while mine was full of messy puddles 


After a sweet drive, a kind chat, and some holding back of tears
I came home and talked w/ Kaylene about staying longer
While Mike registered me for UVU - 


I will continue @ the elementary school
then hopefully will beable to begin classes this fall @ UVU
or at least take one class this semester 


It's 1:35 in the morning and I can't sleep
Annie is most likely on her way home from work.  
I could call you on your phone Annie!!!  
so.........

Maybe this is the push I needed to get back into school
to study....
?????????????????????????
thinking Graphic Design.
?????????????????????????


I shall carry on.
{maybe w/ the help of My Mike gently shoving me from behind.}



Nellie... 
I am so excited you are coming back here.
I wish you were moving into the home close to me
as does Sydney Leigh, I am sure
... you don't have to do yard work.
Does that help?  ;)
when will you be HERE?
where will you stay when you get back here?
hope you drive safely.
girls night out!!!!!!
asap!!!! 
right BONNIE & ANNIE (if you are able that is)


love you guys.
so glad I have 3 sisters. 
truly.  I am.

Summer's Over

I can't believe summer's basically over! I can tell Dan is really ready to be done. His team has dwindled down to three guys. This has been the toughest summer, as far as problems w/ team members, for him. 


We're leaving early next week to go back to Utah, although I'm still not sure where we're going to live. 
Dan and I have completely different opinions on living situations. He likes apartments, not having to do yardwork, and hates anything that resembles "vintage." I, on the other hand, am done with apartments (unless he decides to move us to a big city.) I crave my own space, even if it's a shared yard! 


There are definitely things I'll miss about Dallas, such as;


1. The Texas "U-Turns" which is the ability to make a left hand turn off an interstate off-ramp at any time, it's hard to explain, but it's awesome.
2. The zoo- I'm sad we're not going to be here in cooler weather to go back to the Fort Worth Zoo, it was awesome.
3. The food.
4. The people- Utahns are nice enough, but Texans are just so sweet to little toddlers and they're so excited to see babies, whereas Utahns seem to cast me this look of "you better keep your kid quiet." Texans are just nice and southern.
5. Shopping- not that I've really been able to shop a lot, so maybe it's a good thing we're leaving, but they have the best malls & even really good thrift shops here.
6. Our Ward- they're really nice, even the older ladies in our ward are so silly & friendly and like to goof off.
7. My gym's daycare. They're so nice to Bridgette, and she really likes the ladies there. Also, there's only about 5 kids in there at a time, whereas gyms in Utah have like 30.


Of course there are reasons I'm excited to go back to Utah, like;
1. You guys : )
2. The Fall! They actually have seasons in Utah, and it's beautiful in the fall
3. The water- Texas water is DISGUSTING! I don't like drinking all bottle water b/c I'm afraid of chemicals that plastic can leach, but that's all I could stomach all summer. They water here tastes/ smells like wet dog meets pond water. YUCK!
4. Dan has conceded that Salt Lake County just might be better than Utah county, it only took me 5 years to convince him. (GO UTES) Although I'm sad about the cute American Fork house we're passing up.
5. Shopping. Texas has cool stores that Utah doesn't but things here are pricier. Utah retailers understand that most of their shoppers priorities aren't $50 cotton t-shirts. Also, in Texas, cheapest place I found to color my hair was $100. That includes Mall Salons. It's crazy, some places here are like $300 +. I'm sure some can afford that, but even if I could I don't think I'd pay it.




So, as you can see, it's a bittersweet move for me. I'm just ready to get it over with. I dread packing, but at least it's mainly clothes and toys. 


We'll be driving through Colorado to visit Dan's family on our way back. It'll be nice to see them & celebrate Dan & Bridgette's birthdays with them. 


I can't believe Bridgette is going to be 2! What a big girl. We're going to start potty training when we get settled into our new place. She tells me every time she has to poop, and updates me when she's done. I think she's ready.


Well, I think this post has covered enough topics. I'll let ya'll know if we find a place to live, and if not, what underpass we'll be sleeping under!

I have had a couple of great job interviews as of late

today I had a follow up one - 

they are making a decision between me and another lady.

I told Mike,

I hope I don't, 

however I always loose out on these kinds of "decisions"

even my own fiance wouldn't pick me...

when we used to play volleyball in their back yard in college

I was always that last one standing against the wall -- by myself.  Listening to the unfortunate team leader moaning under his breath as they said, "Joan" with a sigh.... then I would just shrug my shoulders... giggle, then sashay over to which ever team was unlucky enough to get that last person that no one really wanted... me.  

{ok... off the subject, but you know how there are some words that you know are supposed to be spelled in a difficult manner... because it would be too easy to spell it how it looks?  I just did that w/ "sashay"  It sounds french... so I was trying to spell it very... french like, when in fact - it is spelled how it sounds.  I'm a genius.  p.s. - my job does not require spelling accurately}

so for now. 

It's another wait and see process.

anxiety

here I am.  feed off me.

p.s.
this is becoming "the life of Joan" blog.
seriously.
Ok.  so in a week, I won't be posting as much.
but... it's fun when I am posted to loved ones rather than just posting so I can have the memory or remember something I loved...
so much funner posting to you guys.
and not caring what's out there.
love you ladies.
post.  please.  ;)

my heaven... 

only missing a window w/ a slight breeze, comfy chair, and a side table.

hi girls.

I have been reading up a storm lately

Nothing note worthy.

Just silly young adult books - the HUSH HUSH 2nd book, Crescendo and then the 2nd book of the FALLEN series, Torment.  

On date night tonight I made Mike take me to get the 3rd book in the FALLEN series, called Passion.  I gave it to him while I used the restroom - but warned him not to look @ the cover.

As I walked away I could here his wicked laugh taunting me.

{I warned him!!!!}

{for my sake, of course}

I'd just like to add in here -

the first 2 book's covers were beautiful.

this one... 

not so much.

A summer brain vacation.

That is what my reading as of late has been.

And I've loved it.

I just got my work schedule for this year.

I think they might be either trying to get me to lose my mind and quit, or quit before I lose my mind!  Or maybe they think that I am so wonderful and can take on the world.  Either way...  should make for an interesting year.  Pushing me farther towards continuing my education - so I can feel as if I am worth something - that I DO have some self worth.  

I have a job interview on Monday for the position of a secretary @ the jr. high.

I am kind of excited about this possible step in an upward direction, however if I am able to snag the job at the orthodontists office... that would --- be so very wonderful.

Lots of prayers going up from my mouth --- 

Annie

if you click on the photo it will take you to the website I got it from

Most of them come from the same website.

{I love the website - deviantART}

love you ladies!

Joanie

Joanie, Where do you find your cool pictures? The last one you posted I'd like to make a 36" print and frame it. What a cool wall hanging that would be!

My kids don't start school for 3.5 more weeks. (Just after Labor Day). It's kind of nice. They have less "holidays" off during the year and still get out right before Memorial Day. Not too shabby!

Welcome, Annie!!!


Nellie, I think your little Bridgy needs to start working on this:

then you two can hop and skiddaddle right over here to Thanksgiving Point (which - did you know that I could never remember the name of that place when we moved here, so I kept calling it the Turkey Point. duh!) where I will pick you up and keep you hostage while Dan brings up the rest of your belongings.  
(let me know when she is done with that)


Mike and I went up to the high school track tonight (just as the jr. high football team was leaving - too bad for Sydney Leigh) and jogged/walked/ran 2 miles.  He's cursing my name right now, but it felt so good to get out and run off some steam.  (and then of course come home and have a large scoop of ice cream w/ 2 oreos.  Hey, I added 1/3 of a banana!  that has to account for something, correct?)


I am getting my kids up 30 minutes earlier each morning, since in 2 weeks we will enjoy the 6 a.m. morning call, and if I get a different job it might end up being earlier for me if I want to fit into my jeans this year.  Did you know I am NOT in any form a morning person?  we shall see.  Today was 9:30.  tomorrow... 9.  
Sad that they are groaning about me getting them up at nine in the morning.  


tootaloo!

Here we go!!

Well Sisters, hopefully this will work now. I am techno-dumb. I love reading all your posts! I wish I was as elloquent a writer as you all are, but I am not so you have to put up with my boring-ness.

I've decided I don't want to raise teenagers anymore. Oh wait, that isn't an option! My brain is tired as is my body. Don't get me wrong. Love them to death, but it is just hard. I am a bad mom to them some days. (they remind me frequently as well!) How do you teach respect? How do you get through to them that the choices they make today do affect them tomorrow? Oh well, this too shall pass. I just hope when they are adults they don't have nightmares about how mean and rotten I was.

I am on a hiatis from school until Sept. It has been AWESOME. Five semester to Bachelor's. I can't wait to be done and have one more goal checked off the ole bucket list. Kyle says I should keep going for master's I say probably not. Don't really care to be an eternal student. We shall see.

Joanie, I think you should be a clothing designer or interior decorator. You just have the natural eye for cool things. I would love it if you could help me re-do the "stuff" on the top of my kitchen cabinets. I've had the same stuff for 3 houses now - boorrring.....

Nell, It will be cool to have you back close again. Even though I don't see you a lot, it would still be cool to know I could. I hope you are feeling better these days.

Bonnie, way to go with the jeans. I remember when I got back into my jeans after Sophie, they didn't fit the same, but hey I could do up the button!

Well, now that I have figured this out I will try to visit/post often. I think we should start thinking toward another sister's weekend. Maybe next summer. The one we had 6 years ago brings such fond memories. We need to do it again!!!

How I fill my time.

You may have heard that the temperatures in Dallas are record setting highs, and we have also been experiencing  a severe drought. It's too hot to play at the park, so this is how we spend our time...

Bridgette will soon be able to draw the chalk world from Mary Poppins.

I have also started running again, in the gym, not outside. For two months I focused solely on weights & building muscle, which definitely bulked up my legs. Now I'm in the "cutting" phase. I miss running outside. That's really the one thing I miss about Eagle Mountain-- the running trails were wonderful!

I'm excited to return to UT in a few weeks & run outside. I'm not sure where we'll be living yet, I've seen a few cute apartments, but they go like hotcakes! We'll find some place, well, because we have to : )

Well, Bridgette is crouching over in the corner grunting, which can only mean one thing... I have to go!

I have come to the realization:

period pieces are my favorite genre.

last night I watched all 4 episodes of North & South

{BBC style - not Yankee style}

although it really was not "great"

I would much rather watch a movie from that time period

{for relaxation purposes}

than any other form of movie.

{p.s. -- this movie showed the unromantic and grimy English style of living back in the day.  Kind of put a damper on things... I would much rather relive that time period in ball gowns, top hats, clean clothes, toilets, and pretend that it was all lovely all the time... in an unrealistic manner, of course}

(& the main character might resemble a certain Hugh Jackman a tiny bit.  maybe.)

there you have it.

one of the many conclusions I have made about myself this summer.....

*sigh*

Sorry guys. I am terrible at this. I used to be a regular blogger, and..well... I haven't updated my own blog in about 3 months. Life has become H.E.C.T.I.C. I know you all care SO much, but here's my daily schedule:

Up at 4:30AM (if not before), out of the house at 6. 

Work by 7 and home around 4:30 after picking up the kids.

Get some laundry switched around, pick up toys, get Adam fed, bathed and in bed about 6:30 PM. 

Then I have about 3 hours to get my housework done, which now includes 95% of the things Shane used to be "in charge" of. 

Make Shane's lunch for the next day and see him off at 10:30 PM.

Get my last-minute stuff done and HOPEFULLY be asleep by 11:45 :(  

 I need to learn how to budget that 3 hours of "me" time better, I guess because I can't seem to keep up with my chores!!

Anyway, I have to say this because I'm pretty excited about it. I was able to actually wear the pants I had before I gained the weight from BEFORE getting pregnant with Adam. I wore them all day! That was a good motivator for me to keep my dieting. I may not have the most conventional diet plan, but it's working - slowly, but surely!

I have a quandary... Shane is working 2 intense jobs. He is burning the candle at both ends and has another flame melting the wax in the middle. Well, lately the ladies in my office have kind of been rotating having Lia Sophia (awesome jewelry) parties and anyway, I've started thinking about doing it. It's not an MLM at all and  if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work --- no fees or anything like that! 

Anyway, I'm a person who needs CONSTANT reassurance when I'm about to do something different. So, tell me.... yay or nay....? Feedback?

Well, anyhow - the Jeans thing is the highlight of my week, thus far. I guess I better get back to laundry. 

I have become an emotional eater.
Thus - the distraught attitude over wearing jeans again.
I was jogging/walking before Arizona.
Now...
 I jog to the kitchen for - if nothing else - a handful of chocolate chips
which, if I am to be completely honest, do NOT completely indulge my sorrows of self pity.

with chocolate stained hands
I walk to the couch - my next position would be the sitting move....
{it really works those upper thighs}.
truly.
ok.
not really.
I do clean, run errands, do miscellaneous things...
my fingers type as I am instant messaging Mike while he's busy working out his brain muscles....
does that count?

HELP!
seriously.
help.

we had girls camp last week.
(Kaylene was our excellent cook for that one - she did an amazing job, of course.  She should do this as a job)
I had a job interview today for a receptionist at an orthodontist's office....
I actually had taken David here to see about braces, this Ortho was by far the most knowledgeable, kind, and organized out of the 4 or 5 I looked into.
His receptionists were darling (and so very kind).
We shall see.  I would Love this position.....  I will leave it at that and try not to jinx myself.

We continue to look for a rental.  A lot depends on if I have a job this fall ---

Nell - sorry I didn't send back your text.  I am not ignoring you, really ---

I think every person I texted the week before last --- or called --- never got back to me.  I was beginning to think that I was living in a perfect storm - me being in the middle of a tornado, everyone else in sunshine and bliss, not knowing that I was reaching out via cell service for someone, ANYONE!  

so....  you are not alone in the world of the living, or not living.  I, @ least, am alive.

when are you coming back to UT?

do you know where you are going to look to live?
do we need to find something quick so you can maybe live here?

hope you are well.!!!!

Alive?

I really have too much time on my hands and while trolling Facebook/ blogs/ myfamily that none of you have been on there for awhile...

You probably all have fulfilling lives, and better things to do than be online, but I just wanted to make sure that was the case, and that you're not all mourning over something that no one told me about.

Obviously life here is slow, hopefully you ladies are doing well!

Joanie here:

Nellie, so glad you are moving back ~ so sorry for your loss on both tragedies.  You know we love you and keep you in our prayers....
I love this quote:
"When our wagon gets stuck in the mud, God is much more likely to assist the man who gets out to push than the man who merely raises his voice in prayer—no matter how eloquent the oration."
— Dieter F. Uchtdorf
You, Nellie, do this.  You push on --- you get out and push and work for the next great thing to come your way.
“Often the deep valleys of our PRESENT will be UNDERSTOOD only by LOOKING BACK on them from the mountains of our FUTURE experience. Often we can’t see the LORD’S HAND in our lives until long after the trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are ESSENTIAL building blocks that form the FOUNDATION of ourCHARACTER and pave the way to FUTURE opportunity, understanding, and happiness."
— Dieter F. Uchtdorf
you, Nellie, will look back at this and know that YOU have pressed on and have remembered and have been well educated in your past sorrows... and will be able to comfort those in need of comfort and weep with those in need of weeping... and you will understand them - heart and soul.
(I think all of us Bradford girls are learning things in such a way that other's have not.... it's difficult, but as mom told me once --- because she had been where I was treading, she was able to empathize with me... instead of sympathize for me.  and I loved that--- so will those whom seek help and comfort from you... and Bon... and Annie)

..................................................................................

Bons...  breaks my heart that Chloe is having a hard time - she is a cutie pie.  As for the grass edger... when we were in Arizona, Mike would be busy @ the golf course {all of the time} not leaving a lot of extra time for him to do the mowing of the grass which would grow faster than the hair on my legs.  So I took on the job of pushing the lawnmower and making the grass golf course perfect. (ha.  ha.  ha.) then --- came the edging.  If crop circles on the edges of the lawn were in the latest "grass fashion" @ the time, our lawn would have won many awards - flashing signs adorned w/ wreaths of flowers would have covered the crop circles that made their way around the edge of the front of our desert sand colored home (as dad would like to put it).

Needless to say, I for one am not talented with the edger, thus I have been for ever grounded from using this fine machinery any time in this life.

..................................................................................

David and I have been rushing Mike through the Harry Potter movies, to which Mike has responded, "this makes almost no sense to me" - his work has rented out 2 movie theaters for their employees to watch the movie for free this weekend.  I kept urging him to just read the books, or @ least check the cd's from the library and listen to them in the car, at work, or at home.  Tonight we watched 2 of them - the last 2.  Dave is obsessed with them - and was my back up while trying to break down the meaning of each segmant I was fast forwarding through..... which was fine, except his explanations tend to carry on - and on - and on - and on..................................  until we finally shush him, to which he has to let at least 10 more words slip out of his lips before his analysis is complete.

..................................................................................

after attempting the pool yesterday - and finding no parking spaces (Syd and Dave are getting too "cool" to hit the pool w/ the Pudge and I) my little man and I had a date at the icee bench... which backs up to a ghastly parking lot on one side, and a horendous street on the other.  Still, we sat with our spiderman and lightening McQueen icees and chatted about stuff......

(look at my age spots on my hand.  I swear I am only 38.... my hands would say otherwise)

In my last post I think I sounded unappreciative about living here....  I didn't mean to sound that way at all... they have been absolutely amazing for us - to us and this home.  I just don't want them to think we are overstaying our welcome is all.  It has been over 3 and a half years.  It's truly amazing how time has blinked by.

I walked an uphill path today - listening to classical music and a church album that has 2 songs that I absolustly love.... this path reminds me of Pride and Prejudice.....

I thought it would be lovely to dress in beautiful assembles and stroll up here for a picnic of tea and krumpits, and a nap.  (meanwhile worrying about ticks making their way into our skin..... I'm not paranoid.  I swear it!)

I'm trying.  trying to lose some unwanted fluff - taking my 2 excedrine for back pain every day... switching to diet coke...  not eating past 6 (ok... so 7 is more like it, but who's keeping track.. really.?) -- going for brisk walks and adding a few sprints along the way.
life............

see you.
Joanie